Saturday, January 31, 2009

And she's available, fellas . . .

I finally got my disgusting toe taken care of. You know ... my disgusting, infected, ingrown toenail toe? You know, the one that I talk about a lot because I will never, never stop thinking there's something funny about forcing uncalled-for images of an infected tow upon your delicate, human psyche? Yes, that disgusting toe.

I went in for two reasons:

1. Yesterday it hit me that it had probably been really bad for six months already. I suddenly remembered having foisted disgusting toe talk upon the internet as long as six months ago. This greatly disturbed me.

2. Upon telling my mother this over the phone, she called me stupid for the first time in my entire life. My mother would never and has never called me stupid. However, the lady made some excellent points about not letting myself die as though I were a soldier in the Civil War.

That being said, I am now home in San Diego, forcing my mother to take care of me and look at my gross, post-"surgery" toe ... as payback for calling me stupid.

I am also here to finally purchase a replacement car for my dearly departed Mazda, from a neighbor of my mother's. What is my new car, you might be wondering? Oh, it's a '92 Infiniti convertible ... AND IT HAS A CAR PHONE. Jealous? Don't bothering answering that. It's so obvious that you are.

No comments: