I got into a semi-serious car accident last Wednesday morning on my way to work. It had been raining the night before and I guess I needed new tires and/or to replace my brakes, because when I pressed on the breaks to avoid rear-ending the SUV in front of me, it helped do nothing of the kind. Instead, I went full speed into the SUV. So hard, in fact, that my car ended up a foot under her car, tearing my front bumper asunder, leaving my engine hanging out for all the world to see, and crunching my hood into my windshield. Casualties of the car accident would be: 1) my fucking car and 2) the skin under my chin. Just so you know, you're all taking the skin under your chins for granted. You should take that skin out to dinner once in a while and certainly surprise it with flowers more often than you do.
There's got to be a better description than "the skin under your chin." You know what I'm talking about, right? You know ... if you were a turkey, you'd have a thing there. You know ... a thing? A neck thing? That's where I got hurt. Right there. That airbag may have saved me from having a broken nose and cheekbones and ... you know ... a broken face in general, but considering it is supposedly a tool for good and not evil, it has a funny way of showing it. By a funny way of showing it, I mean: EXPLODED AT MY FACE AND TORE SKIN OFF.
Okay, I'm making it sound like I look like the Phantom of the Opera now. I'm playing this journal entry a little fast and loose, I apologize. Sloppy blogging. I'm fine, apart from some minor cuts and bruises and the aforementioned turkey neck injury. But that does not change the fact that a bag exploded in my face and I didn't enjoy it. And I have no car.