Hi, friends, blog readers, countrymen. I've been sending out e-mails for the past two to three months asking people to donate money to Obama through my fundraiser page (which can be reached by clicking the Obama icon to your right). I've also had that link up on this site for a while. It shows I've raised $100. That's pretty neat, right?
Wrong. You guys totally suck.
For one thing, $55 of that $100 has been from me. For another, my good friend Chris Kelly in New York made a page of his own LAST WEEK and has already raised $189. To add insult to injury, he's using the same blog link, nay!, using the very html code I gave him to do so. I made it possible, yet am doing worse.
Are you going to let that slide, me-readers? Are you really going to let Chris-readers out-donate you like that? Because let's face it - we're all in it together, but really, this is about me. This is about me and whether or not I can do better than Chris Kelly. The man is already funnier than me, and you schmucks are going to sit idly by while he also proves to be a better person?
Sure. You probably donated on your own to Obama. But does that generosity reflect a flattering light upon my person? No, it doesn't. Think about it. Think about how utterly selfish you're being in regards to my appearing to be unselfish.
So do the right thing, Americans Who Read Lindsay Katai, and fucking click on that link to your right.*
*God, I hope you know I don't mean this.**
**Yes, I do. I so mean this.