Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Reincarnation

Hey, everyone, remember that old television show you loved? It's back!

Now in new unlikeable form!

Dirty Sexy Money ---> Arrested Development

Although he swore he'd never do it, a good lawyer is forced to work for the wealthy Darling family his father devoted all his time to, after his father is killed in a plane crash and leaves the Darlings to his son as clients. Michael Bluth is reborn as Peter Krause in the role of the highly moral lawyer! Maeby and George Michael are now a pair of obnoxious, spoiled twins! Lucille's still the mom, only this time she has a heart! Gob is now a transsexual politician screwup! Lindsay is still the spoiled daughter going into a loveless marriage! George Sr. is still the dad! Buster is now a pastor with an illegitimate son! Now with less originality, humor, and wit!

Moonlight ---> Angel
This one's so easy, I'm embarrassed to even make the obvious parallels. Okay, picture this: a once evil, bloodthirsty vampire is trying to make amends by running his own detective agency in Los Angeles and helping those in need. Sound familiar? That's because it's the SAME EXACT STORYLINE. Now with less Joss Whedon!

Gossip Girl ---> Sex and the City + The OC
That's all. Just imagine that and it's like you've seen the show.

Samantha Who? ---> 13 Going on 30
Woman suffering from amnesia goes through the awkward and hilarious process of discovering the person she is and the life she leads. She must come to terms with the fact that her old self was a cutthroat bitch and that sex is brand new to her. It's just like the movie, only minus the magical glitter and Mark Ruffalo. I don't know if this show is unlikable because a) I haven't seen a single episode and b) I kind of love Christina Applegate. The gimmick also vaguely reminds me of the movie 'Big Business' starring Lily Tomlin and Bette Midler.

Chuck ---> ?

Geek Squad guy reads an e-mail from a friend of his who is a rogue CIA agent. In reading the e-mail, he now has "a database of government secrets downloaded into his brain," so a sexy female agent follows him around, pretending to be his girlfriend in order to protect the information stored in his head. I don't have a comparison to another show (if I were to make a lazy one, I guess 'Alias'), but I'd like to ask how this is supposed to be a viable concept. I get that there's a certain degree of suspending one's belief that needs be done, but this goes too far for me. I can't remember a single time I've hooked my computer up directly to my brain to check an e-mail. So what then? Just reading it means the info is in his head, like . . . locked away? If this is possible, then does that mean that because I've read 'Gone With the Wind' a clone of Scarlett O'Hara lives in my head and is in need of food and water?

Bionic Woman ---> Bionic Woman

Fin.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You started with Old Show -> New Show then switched. I got confuzed?!

Lindsay Evelyn said...

You're right. I started this entry yesterday and then finished it today, forgetting how I was writing it yesterday. Problem solved!

Chris Kelly said...

chuck is unbearable. i watched 2 episodes and was willing to suspend my disbelief because there is literally nothing in the show that is rooted in reality as we know it. but after 10 minutes of the 3rd episode, it became impossible to handle "wacky nerdy guy is also in a spy world" - it just reaks of kooky desperation.

oh, and also, dirty sexy money is fucking terrible. when i watched it the first and only time, i saw the credits and was like "oh no, this is arrested development, except without any of the parts that make me want to watch it."

but you know what show is not gonna suck? the "chris and lindsay have dinner tomorrow night" show.

huzzah!

this comment was as long as an entry.

Bonnie said...

I think the closest parallel to Chuck is "Weird Science" ---> Hot babe is unwillingly paired with a nerd and forced to teach him self confidence for her own sanity's sake.