Thursday, April 12, 2007


This is gross: I finally took care of my ingrown toenail. I said back in February that I think I might have to take it to a professional this time. I was right. I was right and I still waited longer than I should have. Truly, my toe was horrifying to look at. And it looked the way it did for three months. But the solution was pretty horrying in itself. The doctor anesthetized my toe by stabbing it twice with a giant needle. Stabbed it. That shit was painful. And then he ripped the whole left edge of my toenail out of my toe. I was numb, obviously, but get a load of this: I could hear it. I could hear my toenail being ripped out. Because that's all it was. I paid that man $350 to do me the favor of forcibly yanking out my toenail. Here's a picture of my face after seeing what my toe looked like after being anesthetized:

I don't want to force pictures of the actual toe on anyone, but here's the link if you're inclined: The blood is from the anesthsia stabbing. Also, this picture was taken before he took out part of the nail. He wouldn't let me watch him do it, let alone take pictures. He was already freaked out enough by my taking pictures beforehand. And seriously, if you don't want to see an infected toe, don't click on that link. Because what will happen is my formerly infected toe will jump at your eyeballs hard and fast and it will show no mercy. Now me, I'd click on it. But then I would have only myself to blame, as will you.

And thus with my ingrown toenail taken out is my involuntary personal life goal of having every medical procedure and ailment known to man that much closer to completion. Huzzah!


David Morris said...

The Economist is the official mazazine of David is on an airplane. I'm glad you are partaking of its damn, damn sensible middle-of-the-road conservative UK take on world events.

Vonnegut. Toe. Vonnegut. Toe.


Patrick said...

I look at the toe picture... I shouldn't have.

Chris Kelly said...

I am not even tempted to look at that toe picture. I cant even believe you would post a link giving us the option. When I saw that I was so confused as to what I thought about that decision of yours; I was horrified, amused and disgusted all at once.