Dear Live Nudes (my former college improv troupe),
I will be coming to see your show this Friday at 11pm. I am taking off from my usual Friday shift at Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre to do so. I have just discovered that I will be missing out on meeting Dennis Haskins of Saved By the Bell because of this. I will be missing out on meeting Mr. Belding himself. To see you.
In light of this, I feel it is only fair to warn you ... if you do not deliver the greatest hour and a half of improv ever to come into being, so great in fact that I can never watch another improv show ever again because it will pale in comparison to your performance this Friday, so great that I weep and enter into a higher level of enlightenment, I will personally kill every one of you with my bare hands.