I have had the following idiotic thoughts while searching for a job on Craigslist for the past hour:
"Hey, maybe I should become a bookkeeper."
"I could totally be a librarian! I was born to be a librarian!"
This thought was born of seeing that city part-time librarians in Glendale make upwards of $22/hr. It was followed immediately by learning that you also need a Master's degree in, get this, "library science." They make that much money because they have ass-loads of student loans to pay off in a career that was once held by old spinster women who couldn't be mothers and who chose that career over schoolteacher, their only other career choice in their small dusty town. And now I, I who would be considered an old spinster in days gone by, cannot even aspire to such heights with my stupid undergraduate Drama degree. Moded, big time.
"I could be a dispatcher for the fire department!"
They work 12-hour days and then get four days off, but also make upwards of $45,500 a year. I could pursue acting during those four days off! I totally could!
"Fuck it, I'm joining the Peace Corps."
"I'll be a police cadet! How adorable."
"I probably wouldn't mind spraying pesticide too much."
"Well, I should really just start writing short stories and selling them."
Of course. Obviously. Because of the great ease with which such a thing would be accomplished.
I have rods in my back! C'mon!