On Saturday night, I sat in the box office at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, reading The Economist. That's right - The Economist. Because I'm better than you. Anyway, I was sitting there, dutifully interning, when Matt Besser (one of the Upright Citizens, possibly best known for his work as 'Little Donny') comes up and says, "Hey."
Me: Oh! Hi.
MB: Have you seen 'The Funny Show?'
(The Funny Show is a show he does with a couple other performers, mostly character based. He was slated to do that right after ASSSSCAT, which was just about to come back from its intermission.)
Me: No, I haven't.
MB: Oh . . . well, I want to use you for something in it.
MB: I play the Pope and you'll be playing an abortion rights activist. You hold up a protest sign and then I stab you.
Me: Oh! Okay.
And so that's the story of how I became world-famous on Saturday night and now when I go home to my newly purchased obscenely large mansion, I swim in my kidney-shaped pool that is filled not with water, but with money. And not just money, but doubloons. It hurts to swim in the doubloons, but it hurts so good.
This is actually my second interesting Matt Besser story. The first story was about how he played me, Lindsay Katai, in an ASSSSCAT scene. Yes, he came onstage and affected the character of Me. This story needs elaboration to make any sense at all, but it is true.
Have I blown your mind yet?