Monday, September 11, 2006

Vegas Remembers 9/11

This past Friday was my dear little sister's 21st birthday, so obviously it was time to go rock Vegas as only the Katais can. Which meant that Tabes got slightly drunk, went to a club with a myriad of friends, then left because she was being stalked by creepy guys. For me it meant I ate so much at the buffet that I could do naught but pass out afterward in a food-induced state of drunkenness. So I guess that is how only the Katai girls can rock Vegas. But before I passed out from being such a slovenly glutton, David and I walked around a few of the hotels, as to appreciate their grandiose splendor. We hit up the Bellagio first, with the intention of meeting Greg and his friends at the fountain show. But damn this 9/11 memorial weekend because the song the fountain show was set to was, of all things, "Proud to Be An American." Couldn't they have gone in a little classier direction? Perhaps "America the Beautiful" or "My Country Tis of Thee?" Nay. The Bellagio, one of the nicer if not the nicest hotel in Vegas, chose instead the right-wing, Fox Newsy horror "Proud to Be An American." Afterward, when calling Greg on the phone, I asked him, "So, Greg, ARE you proud to be an American?" To which he could only reply, "Yes, because at least it means I'm free."

Afterward, David and I went inside to check out the lovely flower garden area and inquire about seeing a late Cirque du Soleil show. We were far too late for even the late show of "O," it turned out. And when we got to the flower garden, we found a strange and distrubing 9/11 tribute theme had taken over. If you can even say it had one unified theme. I would say it had at least three distinct themes going on because not only was it strange that the Bellagio was the only hotel marking the anniversary of September 11th (as far as we know . . . now that I think about it, New York, New York was probably doing even more horrible things in the name of national tragedy), but it was even strange in how they went about it. For one, there were no less than 8 GIANT American flags hanging down from the ceiling. Now, with that subtle, classy, tasteful image in your mind's eye, let's proceed on a tour of the rest of the scene:

To start off the Bellagio 9/11 memorial you will find at the front and center a mini replica of the Bellagio itself, complete with tiny fountain show. Instead of regular looking tourists looking on to the show, however, you will find animal/yokel people with wheelbarrows and pig faces. Admire the all-natural materials. Also note the giant replica of the Golden Gate Bridge hanging above your heads.

As you enter the left side of the ornately decorated flower garden, please turn to your left and admire the replica of a real American truss bridge hanging above a generic miniature of some indescriminate American locale. Possibly the Louisiana bayou? There's no label letting us know where it is supposed to be, but there is yet another label letting us know that only all-natural materials were used. This label will be in front of every miniature for the rest of the tour. There is also a label letting us know just which truss bridge this is modeled after. Please also enjoy the single, train-less kaboose as it aimlessly passes back and forth, back and forth in front of this lovely scene.

Now turn to your right. Please admire the mini-replica of Mount Rushmore. And a different American truss bridge. And a mini train. Now please tune your ears to the random tourist passing by you who suggests we blow up the train. We can only imagine he means this to be in honor of 9/11. God bless America AND Americans.

Please walk on and admire yet another truss bridge to your right. Please also keep in mind that every truss bridge has a label telling us which truss bridge it's modeled after. Please don't just assume it's some random truss bridge just because they all look the same. No, they are all distinct in their truss bridgeness.

Now follow the walkway to your left and find a very fine mini replica of the Washington DC mall, complete with the Washington Monument, Lincoln Memorial, and grassy lake area. And if I'm not mistaken, that's another truss bridge above it. Now please turn around and admire the real, live, large tree and watch the video about how they extracted this large tree from its natural habitat.

You have now circled entirely around the tree and are walking back the way you came. On your way, please stop the admire the mini scenes from various fairy tales, such as the Three Little Pigs and Rapunzel. And yet another truss bridge.

And that completes your tour of the Bellagio's 9/11 memorial display. I hope you enjoyed yourself and feel like just by walking through it, you were honoring the loss of 2,976 lives and a nation's innocence. I can only imagine that the Bellagio felt that if it couldn't combine American memorials with fairy tales and truss bridges, then the terrorists would truly have won.

I will never forgive myself for not bringing my camera to Vegas this weekend.


patrickheyn said...

Is this for real? You can't possibily be serious.... can you?

Lindsay Evelyn said...

It's all utterly true.

KevinRyan said...

Two things:
1. How dare 9/11 for intruding on the Katai Vegas extravaganza.

2. Only Vegas would celebrate the 2001 tragedy with a display as such described. (The Washington D.C Mall, what the...?)

Lindsay Evelyn said...

It was the fairly tale shit that I found to be most confusing.